Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
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Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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