you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
