I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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