He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
