So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
