and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
