Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
