sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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