She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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