What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
