She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
