I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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