Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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