I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
