the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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