I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
