some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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