so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
