Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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