The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
