I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
