I don't usually arrange sex via text message
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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