I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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