But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
