i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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