they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
