So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
