I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
