Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
