i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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