He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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