sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
