Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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