I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
