never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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