who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize