the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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