Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
it glows. i had to have it.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
