after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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