I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
