Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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