great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
