So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
