Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
is that a dick in a sweater?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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