Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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