YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
