cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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