i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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