that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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