some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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