I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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