I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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