I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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