I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I look better un-naked...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
