Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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