cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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