There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
