I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
