Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize