last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
