also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
