It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
