She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
