i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
