I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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