I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
