there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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