Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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