He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
