i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
